I’m not eating mayonnaise anymore. Every time I do it, my stomach churns like an unbalanced washing machine and my esophagus spews hot air like a dryer vent. I’m done with it.
I’ve been dealing with mayonnaise all my life. Never really been a fan, but I eat it anyway because it comes along with things I really enjoy- like tuna salad, egg salad and a bunch of other foods. Gotta take the good with the bad, they say. But as I’ve gotten older, the taste of the mayo has been overtaking the taste of the other ingredients I like. Plus, eating it causes me not to feel good.
So I’m quitting. No mas. Done.
We only get to eat “X” number of meals in our lives before the Creator plays waiter and gives us our check. So I’ve decided to spend as many of my remaining meals as possible eating things that nourish and satisfy. Not mayonnaise.
Why am I writing about this? Because it’s not just about mayonnaise. It’s about time. It’s about how easy it is to spend our time doing things we really don’t want to do. Things we do because other people want us to do them or think we should. Things we feel obligated to do but really aren’t. Things that cause us not to feel good. Or worse yet, things that keep us from getting to the things we really want to do. All that stuff is just mayonnaise, taking away from and overshadowing the ingredients of life we actually want.
And just as many of us rededicate ourselves to eating healthier every New Year’s Day, I’m rededicating myself to eliminating all forms of mayonnaise from my life. I had my last tuna salad last week after a sandwich stop at Wawa. I resigned from the board of a local non-profit that was worthy but not a good match for my skill set. In June, I’m retiring from my job as a public school music teacher after 25 years. I’ve purposefully lost contact with those who give negative vibes all the time. I’ve quit playing with a band that just wasn’t as satisfying as it used to be.
Instead of mayonnaise, I’m looking to fill my time with more of the things I love. Making good music, writing and journalism, travel, community service, spending time with family and friends, a flexible work schedule that allows for maximum creativity. I know there will be times when a few servings of mayonnaise will be unavoidable, that’s natural. But I’ll do my best to keep those doses small.
Sometimes I think we look for reasons not to make changes to our situations. We say things like “it’s not the right time”, or “I have a good salary now”, or “the alternative may be worse”. I’m not buying those excuses. I think we need to do our best to create the life we want. Things may or may not work out, but not trying is like me settling for a mayonnaise sandwich when I know full well what the negative results will be.
Hellman’s? Hell no.